Santa Claus takes some time out of his hectic schedule to tell Gintime about his favourite cocktails and bars! Rudolph comes along for the ride…

Gintime: Santa! What can I say? It’s such an honour to finally meet you!

Santa: Oh you’re making me blush! The pleasure is all mine.

Rudolph: And it’s not like his face needs to get any redder, is it?

GT: You too Rudolph, our friends’ children are very jealous. They’d love to boop your cute, red nose!

R: No doubt they’d love their fingers bitten off too.

S: Dave’s never been particularly ‘child friendly’, I’m afraid.

GT: Dave?

R: Rudolph’s my Equity name. Another reindeer got Dave before me but all he does is children’s rides in Lapland.

GT: Ok…So, you spend a lot of time delivering presents for other people, what would you like to receive yourself?

S: I quite fancy an iPad. I was going to hold out for a second generation one but I’ve a hunch that Sandra, my lovely wife, might have jumped the gun and got me one already. I can’t wait!

R: I’d like the complete works of PG Wodehouse.

GT: I imagine children ask for more expensive toys these days?

S: Too true! The elves nearly went on strike when the iPod came out. “What’s wrong with a toy soldier?” they say. “Since when was a spinning top not considered top entertainment?” they ask. But I firmly believe we have to move with the times.

R: As you can tell from his fashion sense.

GT: So the elves can be a problem sometimes?

S: Ach, not so much them but the Elf Inspector can be. Strict working hours and magic dust cutbacks nearly did for us this year.

GT: Rudolph – sorry – Dave, how do you get on with Donner, Blitzen, Dancer and Prancer?

R: I prefer to call them Gary, Mark, Howard and Jason.

S: Nuff said.

GT: When you boys aren’t working where do you like to socialise?

S: Now I’m not saying I think I’m any kind of celebrity but as I get recognised a lot I tend to go to Shoreditch House because nobody bothers me there for autographs and the like.

R: Personally, I hate going out at all and prefer to entertain at home. Nothing’s more enjoyable to me than cooking seasonal produce simply and well. I’m a big fan of Elizabeth David.

S: He couldn’t get a membership to Shoreditch House.

R: They sent it to the Dave in Lapland!

GT: And which cocktails do you enjoy drinking?

S: I’m rather partial to an Aviation and it’s really cool because I sort of fly around and everything!

R: A dirty martini and pour it with a shaky hand.

GT: Maybe our readers will leave those out for you this year!

S: That would make things rather jolly! Seriously though, a mince pie and a nip of something is all I ask for. I think it’s really nice that people leave treats out for Dave and I.

R: Dave and me, I think you’ll find. Tell them about the carrots!

S: I’m not saying anything. You’re so ungrateful.

R: My nose might not shine so bright this year…

S: Oh, all right: Dave never eats the carrots. He wants biscuits.

R: Chocolate ones, please.

GT: Noted. How do you keep yourselves amused during the long night in the sleigh?

S: That can get a bit difficult at times.

R: Mainly to do with music choices: I like Radio 3, especially Late Junction, and St Nick here wants to listen to his Dolly Parton CDs on a loop.

S: Erm, excuse me, but last time I looked you had a Bananarama CD in there.

R: You like them too.

S: I am so over Bananarama.

GT: Well it’s been nice and very enlightening, to meet you both.

R: You too! So, what are you doing later? I know a nice little bar just round the corner. They do an exquisite Negroni…

GT: Sorry, I have to go home and polish my cocktail shakers.

S: Ho, ho, ho!